Witty Words Wednesday

I know I've made promises of sharing a particular powder room in my home however due to a very long business trip, hubby has been out of town and I've been a one woman show here. It's seriously wearing on me and I just can't wait to crawl into bed and dream of chickens. Surely you'll forgive me:)

The Potty Party

image from google

I have been getting emails from readers asking me how I potty trained Sadie. The truth is this, I didn't do it alone. I had a whole potty team! It started when we moved to get Sadie into "the good school district" with the highly sought after special needs preschool program. On the first day of school the teacher asked me to start bringing Sadie in pull-ups instead of diapers. She explained that they have a routine which included every student sitting on the potty three times a day. Sadie was 4 at the time, walking in her walker and had very little pragmatic language. She never once in her whole life made us aware of a soiled diaper, and so I was just used to changing it routinely. For Sadie to climb up onto a toilet would be a major feat and we still weren't sure if she could understand that body function. I was a little doubtful but I appreciated the initiative unlike her previous preschool program where I had to put how many times she needed to be changed in her IEP so that she wouldn't come home in a soiled diaper.

At the end of each day the students would receive a "treasure" (oriental trading trinket) if they at least sat on the potty all three times and counted to 10. At first it was hard for Sadie, she would protest but that "treasure" was a huge reinforcer. After about 3 months her teacher happily informed me that she had gone pee in the potty!!! It was perfect timing because Christmas break was around the corner and I knew I could schedule time to stay home for a week to potty train. I had a meeting with Sadie's ABA team and they suggested a 3 day potty party (not to be mistaken for a 3 day pinch party). Here is how our Potty Party went:

• The Potty Party lasted from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm 3 days in a row.
• Sadie had to sit on the potty pretty much that whole time
• I had a "treasure box"filled with goodies for her to pick from ready for each time she would "go"
• Many juice boxes and snacks were served to promote...you know
• Between myself and the therapists we constantly had a fun activity going. (Art, shaving cream, beads, growing sponges, DVDs  ) everything under the sun to keep her entertained.
• Sadie got a break every time she went. First a 5 min break and then we added 3 min every time.

Was it tortuous? Yes. But it worked and it was so worth it. The days following we had to put Sadie on the potty every 15 minutes. It didn't take long for her to tell us when she had to go. That was really exciting for us because we didn't know if she would be able to recognize that "feeling" as some people with CP just can't. Since then she has never had one accident save for when mommy got herself stuck in a giant maze we called Ikea. After this joyous event it was time to remodel the bathroom so that Sadie could get in there with her walker and practice those self help skills. However the memory of "The Potty Party" has made me severely exhausted and so I will have to show you our cute little handicap restroom tomorrow:)

Gypsy Musings

Ants, Moss, and a Geo Metro

Ah summer. All this warm weather and sunshine has me daydreaming all kinds of gypsy adventures! In true gypsy fashion, I run my Littles all over the place. Theme parks? Bring it! Road trips? No problem!  Museums?  I don't even break a sweat. 

 It wasn't always this way. Mostly thanks to my own expectations.  You know the drill... let's go to Disneyland! Pretty soon I'm dreaming of walking hand-in-hand through downtown. Gypsy Papa starts whistling a show tune, and we all chime in. My clean, well-behaved Littles throw their arms around my neck and tell me it was the best day EVER. They kiss me and thank me for loving them so much. 

Then reality sets in. It's hot, crowded, and the Alice in Wonderland ride is too creepy. Gypsy Boy stands in line retching because the man in front of us smells like onions plus feet.  Gypsy Girl is stripping nude because she's too hot and shrieking “this was the WORST DAY EVER!!!” Mr. Gypsy   is getting that panicky “about to run” look... ahhhhhh.... sweet memories. 

It took a few tries, but I finally found a solution. I  lowered my expectations.  (I heard you gasp.... keep reading. It's not as bad as it sounds!) I no longer EXPECT to go places and do what “everyone else” is doing. We do big stuff- like Disneyland- often. I don't expect to ride rides, take tons of pictures, or window shop. Our family has a blast, but we do what works for us. One of their favorites? Finding ant trails and poking at them with a stick. And the moss bit? You guessed it. We hunt for moss and take turns petting it. No outing would be complete without a parking lot hunt for a real, live Geo Metro! Preferably in blue. We proudly wear our noise-canceling headphones, skip the “boring” lines, roll down hills, and just have FUN. There is no pressure, and best of all NO GUILT over missed rides or leaving early.

Some may think this is a “waste”.... time, money, tickets, whatever. Not for us. For our gang it's all about creating memories, having fun, and enjoying our time together. Most likely we'll do a few  rides at Disney, have a churro or two, and probably see a few animals at the zoo. If we're super lucky though, we'll spot a Geo Metro in blue.

Witty Words Wednesday

We have a first!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen....we have a first! So let me preface by saying that up until now Beebs has always had mega anxiety about face painting. That included people who had their face painted to just the mere suggestion of it. The way Sadie gets over things is practice and exposure. She has gotten used to her friends having there face painted for Halloween or at parties. She doesn't cry and scream anymore when she see's a face painting booth. Her new way of coping with her anxiety is to throw her arms tightly around you and repetitiously ask "Do you love me? Am I cute?" 

We were at a birthday party this weekend where lo and behold were all of her kindergarten friends getting their faces adorned with all manner of paint. Sadie looked interested so I asked her what she thought of the idea. Her rote response of "Do you love me? Am I cuuute?" was given and so I didn't push any further. I quickly got distracted by saving Bro from certain sand box doom and then plopped down to munch into a hotdog (don't judge I just really like them, processed meat and all). Before I knew it there was a little 5 year old kitten meowing in my face! Yes! Beebs had gotten her face painted! I couldn't help but squeal in delight and text a picture to Daddy. His response was "I don't believe what I am seeing!" I just love it when my daughter surprises me and does something totally typical! 

Now you may say "every kid has there thing", and they do, but to see that unnecessary anxiety melt away was just wonderful. It's even better when it's replaced with excitement and a little "meow".

An answered prayer: Please let us survive the dentist

With all the things Sadie has to go through you would think that maybe perfect teeth should be granted her. No such luck. Today was dentist day number 3. The first day she wouldn't dare open her mouth for anything. The next visit with some nitric oxide it was a bit better as she retold a funny story to the staff thirty times over laughing loudly at herself every time. Today she did great as the dentist finally finished up the work he had to do on those pearly whites. Her Dentist was very nice and very hansom, which by the way when your wearing yoga pants and no makeup is always the case the law of the universe. Anyways he totally sang her to sleep during the drilling! It was then that I offered up my silent prayer of thanks. I don't ever expect things like this to go over smoothly but when they do this mother considers it a much needed miracle. 

A mothers day post from Beebs and Bro's Dad

I have never posted here before, but today seems like the right day to share why we celebrate Mother's Day in our home. 


 Have you ever gone to the doctor or dentist with your child? Seen their little face as they get the needle or the drill? Can you remember a time when your little one was frustrated? Unable to accomplish a somewhat simple task due to their lack of size or strength? Or a skinned knee or a bruise received from falling down on the playground? As a father, these are some of my most feared events. In fact, I have been asked not to go the the doctors when the kids are getting shots because honestly, I react worse then they do. I'm sure this rings true with a lot of families. Moms are generally just better at seeing these tough situations through. 


 The point I'm trying to make is these fairly common occurrences with typical kids are a multiple times a day occurrence with our Beebs. From falling while using her walker, to not understanding why she can't jump and run like Bro can. These things, small as they seem are crushing to me as a father. Sometimes when I hear them I feel weightless. Floating in space, unable to effect the world around me. As I flounder around for some way to regain my footing and respond to these no win situations, in comes Mom to calmly and lovingly explain things in ways only she can. Not only can she diffuse these potentially harmful episodes,  but in the process can make Beebs feel special and included when just a moment before she was edging towards tears. 


 These types of situations, when I see the woman I love, use a deft hand and a kind smile to guide our children back from the precipice of self doubt and wounded spirits. These are the moments where I know that I have the most remarkable wife and our children have the most amazing Mother.


 Happy Mother's Day Sweetheart.

Flat feet or no dessert!

Remember when "stop hitting yourself" was something funny that Pee Wee Herman would say. Well in my house it's said quite literally. Instead of "No running in the house!" I say "No popping wheelies in your walker!" Another very frequently stated rule in my house is "Flat feet!" or more so"For the love...FLAT FEET!!!!" (Sadie giggles when I say that one). This is not only a Beebsism it is now a

Broism: Bro is walking on his tiptoes constantly. Ahhhhhh nooooo!!!! (thats what you were thinking, right?) Coupled with his ever so ridiculous picky eater syndrome I have been a bit paranoid about a sensory problem.

Our Solution: I traced and cut these feet out of shelf paper and placed them on our tile. One row is for walking with straight, flat feet. I tell my kiddos that walking across them and out the door ensures that they bring their flat feet with them outside. The other set is a set to practice a side step down the hallway for better balance and coordination. Both are a reminder to use FLAT FEET!!!! 

As far as Bro's eating habits go, lets just say I'm ready to try hypnotism. He likes something from each texture group but he's a major gagger. I hope I'm just paranoid because of our experience with Sadie. But I won't be one of those moms who desperately turns away not wanting to deal with yet another special problem. No sir, I am informed and therefore responsible (dang it). I found this Sensory Processing Disorder checklist. Luckily I only checked off a few boxes for Bro where as Sadie would fill 80 percent of the test.That calms me a bit. It's a start and I intend to bring it to the pediatrician on Bro's next visit. Better safe then sorry. 

BTW: if you have pretty wood floors unlike me maybe don't try this

Just traced little shoes

I will now be moving these closer to the wall due to Sadie's surgery set back.

Witty Words Wednesday

Introducing......

If you've been reading with us you'll recall a couple weeks ago when I went out on a ledge and shared my friend's story and asked if maybe she would like to be a guest writer on BeebsandBro. After a few days of suspense, she excepted. I can't wait to share some of her musings with you! As you may know,I've named her Gypsy Mama (because who doesn't want a super secret identity).I think her writing will coincide with the light-hearted, inspirational, "Lets just make it through the day with a smile", feel I want for this blog.In addition to being naturally witty, she has more then 12 years of spectrum experience to lend us all, plus she supposedly makes killer cupcakes. Introducing.....

Gypsy Musings

HELLO, MY NAME IS...

Gypsy Mama here. In light of my secret bean-eating gypsy fantasy being revealed, it only seems appropriate we know a little more about each other. I'll start with me. 

Gypsy Mama. I'm an indentured servant stay-at-home mom to Gypsy Boy (12) and Gypsy Girl (6). They both have an Autism Spectrum diagnosis (among other things).  Of course, you already know about my bean-eating fantasy.  I laugh at myself a lot, and you'll see I sometimes joke about my circumstances. I'd rather look at life and find a laugh, than a reason to cry. This in no way affects my devotion to my Littles and their needs... just my personal way of managing it all.  I love my life, and fully intend to giggle my through it as often as possible. 

Gypsy Boy. Formally diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD, GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), and Sensory Integration disorder. It's been suggested that the ADHD and GAD are actually just symptoms of the SID... but who really cares at this point.  Reality is, sensory issues abound. Along the lines of garlic= Armageddon. Or at the very least, Chernobyl. 

Gypsy Girl. Received a classic Autism diagnosis just before turning 3. No pretend play, eye contact, or useful language at that time. Twirly Whirly. Today, at 6, my girl is very “typical” and in a mainstream classroom tearing it up! No really. She's got ADHD... big time. I actually think the “H” in her diagnosis might stand for “hypersonic”. As in Mach Five. But that's a story for another day. Sensory seeking, extreme hyperactivity, and anxiety issues abound. Help me Rhonda. 

I'm sure I'll fill in the gaps soon, but there's a synopsis of life in our camp.

Song Lyric art

Thank you all for your uplifting words posted on the blog and on FB this weekend. Your words brought sunshine to my soul. And so, to lighten things up around here, I thought I would share a fun easy craft I found on one of my fav design blogs a beautiful mess.

My husband sings "You are my sunshine" to Sadie and once upon a time he sang it to me when we were first dating so I thought I would try my hand at a personalized piece of art. I used an oil painting from a thrift store and vinyl lettering from my local hardware store. You stick on the lettering then cover with acrylic paint. Let it dry. Then peal your letters off. Voila! Easy Peasy! 

What would you say?

Ok, it's happened. I knew it would eventually. I knew I would be sad. I knew I would cry. I didn't know I would feel physical heart wrenching pain the moment it was said. I was putting on Sadie's pajamas tonight when she said in her sweet little voice "I don't know what it's like to walk without a walker. Will I ever know what it's like? When will I be able to walk." I didn't have a moment to answer before my breath was seized by an unknown force. Her next series of comments broke me down. "What if I can never ever walk? When I'm a mommy like you will I be able to walk?" I didn't know what to say for a few minutes although I have practiced in my head over and over should this day come. I think Sadie was confused by the tears steaming down my face coupled with the forced smile. I couldn't give the "after school special" answer. I just couldn't. I told her that if we keep working really hard that maybe someday she will walk. We talked about her surgery and how that will help her. I told her that if she has to walk in a walker forever she will still be loved and still be very smart and very cute. Am I a terrible person? Should I have smiled and said"of corse you are going to walk!"?  What would you say? Be honest.....

Witty Words Wednesday plus a shocking report

Words can make all the difference to our kiddos. Words carry meaning, tone and emotion. There are certain things you can say to Sadie that will give her a mound of anxiety that she doesn't know what to do with. Before she could speak it was a reality that she felt all her emotions ten fold. She didn't know how to recognize  or express what she was feeling. As parents we know what sets off our kids. We knew we couldn't talk about going to sleep or being sick. Sadie would have a panic attack if she saw a sleeping dog or crying baby. The people close to our family knew these things about Sadie and stayed clear of the subjects out of love and care for her. It was so hard to not have any way to comfort her and for her to not have the language to express how and why she was feeling the way she was. 

I have recently been reading reports about teachers and aids verbally abusing special needs children in the classroom. I watched a video where a teacher used a source of her non verbal students anxiety to punish him and make him cry. I felt ill. If you haven't seen the reports and you haven't eaten in a the last couple hours CLICK HERE. I can't imaging this happening in Sadies class ( If I haven't mentioned it yet I think the world of her teacher and aids) but she is in a mainstream class. The thought that this can happen in a place were the kids don't have a voice makes my blood boil!

Ok to bring your blood pressure down a notch I wanted to start "Witty Words Wednesday"

A. It will help me practice spelling Wednesday. Yes I mess it up so badly that spell check can't even help.

B. I wanted to start a consistent post segment and lets face it other peoples words are inspiring. Why is it that words from others (as long as they aren't a parent or spouse) seem genius? 

Anyhow, Here ya go. If you want to find the source for these brilliant words you can go to my PINTEREST 

Manic Monday

Here is how our monday morning went today. Let me just sum it up in the texting frenzy I had with "Gypsy Lady" or shall we call her "Gypsy Mama"?


Me: So my Sadie screamed at me this morning saying "I WANT TO HAVE A PINCHING FIGHT FOR THREE DAYS IN A ROW!!! AND I WANT TO MAKE EVERYONE CRY!" This all because of the absence of string cheese in the fridge. She continued the rest of the morning all the way to school screaming "I AM GOING TO STEP ON EVERYONES TOES IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!!" What happened to my sweet girl?Where does she come up with this stuff? Please tell me it could be worse.


GM: (((hugs))) mama!! Sounds like a rough morning. Sadie is so stink in creative! A 3 day pinch party??? Hysterical. If anything it's a great story. Have you seen "pete the cat" (whatever it is) the book they are reading at school? The cat has all these things happen he doesn't like...But does he get upset? "goodness no!" There is a CD and a song. My daughter practically has it memorized. We've been practicing different scenarios (brainstorming them) and saying "goodness no!" it seems to help.


Me: I haven't actually read it. Great idea! I know Sadie loves that book.


GM:(((hugs))) sadie may have had a bad morning, but she has an amazingly creative mind, and a mouth to verbalize. There was a time when my daughter had zero concept of pretend, zero creativity, and no useful language (only ehcolalia)


Me: I know it's always my first thought right after she tantrums. I have to remind myself that I prayed really hard for this:)


GM: Indeed. ;) like the football coach in my middle school said, get up, rub some dirt on it and get in there. And go buy some cheese. ;)

The Gypsy Dream

I feel like my mojo has been gone for a couple weeks. I’m trying to get it back, my husband came home with a super big Red Bull for me and took the kids while I went estate sale shopping this morning to try and pep me up. It worked a little. Coming home with a David Bowie record worked a little more. It’s the little things that overwhelm me sometimes.

So, I am not really great at making friends, wait scratch that, my calendar isnt very good at keeping friends and so I’m not exactly the socialite I used to be. I love the kind of friends that you can not talk to for months and it doesn’t change a thing about your friendship. Despite my recent antisocial ways I have made a great new friend who is in my boat. You know the boat that gets rocked alot, lost at sea. Anyways, I confessed to her that I dream about being lost in space where there is no sound or responsibility and does that make me awful? I was surprised to hear that she had a similar fantasy but hers was running away with a band of gypsys and eating beans out of a can next to a campfire. Hello! Way better dream then “lost in space” and thank you dear friend for making me feel like I’m not the only one who wants to run away sometimes.  So no I really would never ever really leave but I do like the gypsy dream. I can only hope that she’s still my friend after she reads that I've revealed her deep dark secret in this post. I think perhaps she should be my guest writer. She has the most clever things to say, we could even call her “Gypsy Lady”. What do you say friend?

R is for rice. Rice is for focus.

When Sadie was 3 she started mimicking letter sounds induced by this big fancy kit of Sound Tubs  brought out by her speech therapist. I ran out and bought them just so I could hear her little voice at home too. Sadie is now quite brilliant with her letter recognition and so I have engaged her help in teaching Bro. To keep them focused, I have a rice bin. As long as Sadie has a hand (or foot) in the rice she can stay on task (for a bit longer then usual that is). We do one letter each time. I dump the letter tub into the rice and begins our little lesson.

The land of "It is what it is"

Today I drove an hour to the children's hospital for a spasticity clinic follow up. Sadie's progressive weakness is apparently stumping everyone. The weakness in her leg is explained by her surgery, the weakness in the rest of her body is explained by a shrug and an "I don't know what to tell you" look. Everyone just keeps saying "Its something more then CP but we can't figure it out." Sadie's spasticity doctor sat and talked with me for just over an hour today.  She said that I soon have to realize that "it is what it is even though I don't want to hear that" She explained that we should support and let Sadie develop with what mobility she has. (I think this was after I suggested robot legs).

I drove home thinking about this. A lot. I then had to drive a half an hour in the other direction for Occupational therapy. I didn't really feel up to sharing my doctors experience like I usually do with the OT in fear I would start blubbering. We started talking about Sadies dressing goals and how she still can't pull up her pants all the way. Her OT suggested a technique that one of her other kiddos uses. He lays on his stomach so he can bridge his body and get his pants up. Great, I thought, Sadie has to wiggle like a worm on the ground to get her pants on. I think the therapist saw my face and she gently reminded me of all the reasons Sadie needed to be dressing herself: independence, developmental stage, self esteem, blah, blah , blah. Any who when it was PJ time tonight I had Sadie put on her own shirt as usual then I started to put on her pants. She said "I want to try what Shawna was talking about". "You mean putting on your pants?" She nodded. While she was sitting I had her pull them up half way then I helped her get on her tummy. Sadie wiggled around and got her pants up the rest of the way. That little worm sat up with the biggest grin and threw her arms around me so very pleased with herself.

A mother who I befriended has a son with Cerebral palsy on top of a dozen other conditions and syndromes. Her son seems hardly there. He can't move and has everything done for him. He makes noises  by which she can tell if he's happy or unhappy. She has told me that has no further expectations for her son, he won't progress any more. She expressed that I had a much harder responsibility because Sadie had come so far and has potential to go further. I was baffled at this comment of coarse seeing how much work she puts into her sons care. In her situation I could understand her acceptance.

I see parents with older kids going through similar situations. I know they have been going through it much longer then I have, but that "It is what it is" mentality that some parents have always really bugged me. I felt like it was a surrender and how dare you give up. Yes I am still learning. I'm learning that those parents haven't given up. I shouldn't ever assume that. I will always be fighting but maybe I will get there, to the land of "it is what is". I'm learning that it's not a place of surrender it's just a place to focus on what you have and what you can do with it.

Liar liar pants on fire

Do you know many parents that get thrilled to pieces the first time their child tries to deceive them? Well yesterday I became a proud parent of a novice liar! This is what happened: Sadie took off one of her leg braces and then covered her leg with a little throw pillow. When I asked if she took off her brace (even though I could see it sitting next to her) she giggled and shook her head. Why pray tell is this so exciting for me? Sadie has been very behind on "theory of mind"- basically the concept of how we gain information is hard for her. For instance, if I walked out of the room and Sadie hid her doll in a box she would think that I knew where that doll was because she saw it. She doesn't realize that I didn't gain that info because I walked out of the room. Children start to figure this out around age 3. Trying to deceive is one of the first steps to understanding this concept.They don't start out deceiving very well, however there thought process will be something like this :" mom doesn't see me eating these Jelly Beans so she won't know" Children start to understand how we gain information from sight first then the other senses comes later. Mom knows he ate the Jelly Beans because she can smell them or there's some jelly drool rolling down his chin. Sadie got the first part of that concept, " if I hide my leg behind this pillow mom won't know my leg brace is off" Perception and how we gain information are just a few things we have been really working on so little break throughs like this are quite exciting. It sure is hard to take these developmental steps for granted when it comes to Bro. I am bewildered when it just all comes natural for him. That's not to say I wont bust him if he ever tries that Jelly Bean trick again!

Autism Awareness Day

Happy Autism Awareness day everyone! I am very aware of autism. My patience is aware.  My husband is aware. My family is aware. My bank account is aware. My messy house is aware. My acheing heart is very aware of autism.

Hitting social story

Beebsism: Sadie hits. A lot. It's her first reaction to being frustrated, tired, angry. Sometimes she will just hitcha out of the blue for no reason. 
Our Solution: We came up with this social story and token system. I am determined to put this behavior on extinction!!! So we read this social story several times during the day. 

Then we introduce this token system:

These are the choices I laminated and she gets to velcro her choice onto the page.

If she hits she does not get her reward and we delete an app on the iPad. I take a dry erase marker and make an X over an app box and delete the app right in front of her. We haven't really used a negative consiquence in a token system yet, so here's hopin'. Her ABA team totally helped me with this. We agreed that I should start with apps that aren't her favorites and work our way up. She can always earn an app back by "choosing an app" as her reward and since it is in the "iCloud" I don't have to purchase it all over again:) 

BTW: that funny arrow sign on the rewards means "airplay". When you press that on the iPad, the video your watching will automatically show up on your TV (if you have the apple tv box). Sadie gets a big kick out of this, so we incorporated it.